Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Broken foot, broken truth?


So as you may already know from past posts I have broken my foot. I did not have to get a cast, but have been stuck in a walking boot for 4 weeks and will have to stay in it for at least 4 more weeks. It was a blow to me this morning after feeling no pain in my foot to hear from the doctor and see on the x-ray that my foot was still broken, not healing, and in all actuality looked more broke then when I first broke it. So let me share with you some of my thoughts that have come since this morning. I have such a desire to spread the truth of Christ Jesus to this community that is lost. They do not know that the love they desire is Christ. They are thirsty for Him, but are looking in the wrong areas: girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, drugs, clubs, you name it-really anything that brings them that momental place of bliss or feeling good about themselves. I don't want to sound conservative and there is one way to everything but in the sense of finding true authentic saving love there is only way. Call me whatever you wish but that is the truth. Years back I found myself buying clothes and grooming myself just so I would get attention, so people would see me and want to know me. I desired relationship so bad that I found myself opening up to people who didn't even care. But in the moment it felt good and I felt love. So please hear me out I have been there! So back to the point about the broken foot. Our culture has broken truth. Many people and phrases are leading people away: Live life for today, drink be merry for tomorrow you may die, its just a hookup, everyone does it, its only pot, being saved will bring you physical money... These phrases stem from something bigger...phrases that started from darkness. I believe the more truth and light that comes to a place the more opposition that will come because it responds to the light. Satan wants nothing other then people living ordinary lives never experiencing who they were truly created for. Since my broken foot especially today, though I think it has been good for me to sit down and relax in the presence of the Lord, I was very frustrated that it was not healing. I felt so much old desires, my past surfaced... I felt unloved. I was upset that I felt unloved, I was mad that at myself for my past and the dominos started to fall. And all over one thing- a broken foot. I did not stop to pray or to sit with the Father but dialogued with darkness- the lies, or should i say the phrases that are second best for me. I started to think why not do this or that- it is so much easier then ... AND THEN IT HIT ME... feeling my pain! See I was not created to ever feel pain, loss, hurt, rejection and either were any of us but because of some second best phrases and desires to be all knowing earth and all of creation has been cursed. Thus in order to experience this great and glorious life we must endure pain, but that is not the end of the story. Pain can cause us to see the deeper issue and see the bigger picture. As I was thinking this I was reminded that the Body of Christ will stump and crush Satan with their OWN feet! And here I am with a broken foot. The very part of the body that is used to signify the destruction of Satan. I am a threat to Satan. He sees how much the Lord loves me and will use me if I connect and press into the pain instead of shutting down. Satan knows my heart to spread the gospel and simple love of Christ. He is clever and I take this not lightly that my foot being broken and needed to sort through more pain has nothing to do with ministry or resting in the Lord more...BECAUSE it has everything to do with that. I will not stop I will fight! I do not want second best for myself, my family, my friends, or community. I want us all to see the true light and spread that light. Yes there is darkness all around but the light is growing! PRESS IN my friends, do not give in the easier solution of love for yourself. Experience the Father's love. Do you realize that Christ took everything we have done and will done upon Himself to reveal His love and grace to you? His purity and perfect: fulling best gave us the opportunity to be the best! And in addition makes us presentable to the Lord God- who is our Father. The Creator of the world looks down and does not see our old rags, does not see us as second best humans that screwed up but sees us as love. We cause Him to have that twinkle in His eye. He sees us as perfect and a good gift. SO broken foot, broken truth, broken relationship, broken family, broken perspective, broken self worth, broken sexuality, broken sexually, broken by abuse... whatever it is PRESS IN... sit with the Father of all fathers that can see your pain but also sees and calls you who you truly are. The beloved one of God. He sees you and is full of joy! Let us together not settle for second best phrases or lives. Let us rise up and claim our inheritance. The enemy will haunt us and try hard to get us to live like everyone else but STUMP him out by resting assured in Christ that our Father God loves us and calls us by name to His throne and says Beloved I released you from the snares of death now continue to live in my reality!

Broken foot stinks but these thoughts today have caused me to rejoice over this annoyance. Praise the Lord.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Living Dead?


Frankenstein comes to haunt and destroy, we all know that. The concepts and realities of zombies have become the new crave. Not only do people think they are cool and the new thing but people actually believe they are probable. Some say Jesus was the first Zombie. The reality of this new crave is something that I do not take lightly for the city I live in. I just attended a near 10,000 person festival. Known as the Terror of Two Cities. We broke the Guinness world record for most zombies in one place. I bought my ticket and makeup and looked really authentic zombie. Getting ready and chatting with friends was by far more fun then any other part of the evening. Not only did I cover up one of my eyes I also broke my foot so I had to walk in a boot. Now maybe with both of those together I became tired, grumpy, and down right angry that I left early. But I do have to acknowledge the prayer that was happening before and through this event. For this reason I do not blame it on my physical limitations but simply believe the Lord wanted to enlighten my eyes to see “The Rest of the Story.” I had read from my parent that Zombies come from an ancient belief and practice of Witchcraft. This is not surprising after attending such a spectacular and unforgettable night, but also because their are many in my city that practice Witchcraft and Satanism...not sure how to spell that. At any rate, this is what I learned and some thoughts of my inner being. Walking all over to band to band I saw people aimlessly walking, loud ruckus, zombie walking, swearing, horrible music all about sex, drugs, and more sex. That is the main reason I left other then a throbbing foot was the music and I can not even repeat in writing the words that made me yell inside so loud that I left quickly. I am not sure if you know the movie, “Night of the Living Dead” it is an older movie I think it came out in the 60’s but imagine 9,598 people zombified and walking like the living dead. As I waited for the train to come I thought wow though we dress up and pretend that we are the living dead, the sad reality is that many are living dead. My heart went out for that crowd. Now I understand and realize that not all people there are Satan worshippers or whatever you want to think is bad, but the reality of their souls and what they are searching for. I believe that they have a longing and passion to be loved and to be known. A deep passion was formed in my heart to be more opened minded and realization that many many many people around me are walking dead- they are not zombies, but they are my friends, my family, my co-workers... and I asked myself how often do I walk dead? Do I feed from the source of Christ or am I feeding off of “brains”-zombie food- from the world and what others say or believe. So to sum up my time there I know that I was to go to this festival this Zombie Crawl because the Lord wanted to widen my love and passion for this city.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Needs someone to have faith in him...


It has been way to long since I have last wrote on here. There are a couple reasons: really busy with school, personal life, and lack of motivation to write or too busy. But I will say that the Lord has been just as busy in bringing the name of Christ to people even more to this amazing city. Jesus has a raging desire to release His love and compassion on us! So without any more of my words let me tell you what happened today!

I just broke my foot and feel so helpless. I can not buy groceries and shop by myself, I cannot drive: though I have a couple times, I am unable to carry my bowl of cereal or take my laundry down to the basement- but today I threw it in my backpack and downstairs I went. 20 minutes later I was finally back upstairs. I have taken two naps in the last two days and feel great.

I decided to crutch over to one of my favorite coffee shops, Namaste, and have a chai tea. I put my Bible in my back pocket and my journal in my pants and belt. I was planning on reading the book of Job, hence my injury and many other things that have happened in my life just in a weeks time. I got there and sat in my normal spot. The right hand corner of the deck. I got situated, elevated my foot and was just about to read when a guy came up and asked if he could use my cell. I thought here is a gruff guy that is going to walk away with my cell since I won't even be able to stand up before he would be far gone. Well I thought for a while and said yea sure. He made some calls and then we started talking. He told me that it was very nice that I trusted him to use my phone especially since I had a boot on and was on crutches. His name is Matt. He is a father of two, divorced, and has experienced much of life that thankfully you reading this and I writing this will never go through. He came to Minneapolis to do some work that did not work out and is now homeless. My heart sunk for this man. I could tell that he was clean because not only did we talk for three hours but I heard his whole story! I felt so blessed and honored that he told me about his whole life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He was so open to me and that to me showed that he was real, not some guy that wanted to get some food or money. He was authentic and friendly. I told him about the Lord and how no matter what our past is, though we suffer the consequences, the Lord tells us to let them go and pursue His face. We continued to talk and the conversation had shifted from each another's stories to just plane old chat. I had just made a new friend. A friend that had no phone, no place to stay, no family, no one that believed in him. I felt so pulled to help him out more than just the chai tea that I had bought him.
I have a three seasons porch on my house and can lock the door so I decided to tell him that he could stay in there at night so he did not have to worry about getting hurt or attacked which I guess happens a lot in homeless situations...who would have thought?!
I can not explain or even describe his face. He was so excited and was so thankful. He kept saying thank you brother. I also called my friend up and lined up a job for him.
NOW already someone told me that letting him stay is a very bad idea and I assure you that I have weighed the odds, but when does weighing the odds have to be chucked out of the door and moving in faith and some oddly degree of gut and trust need to take place. Who am I to say no to this guy? He needed someone to believe in him, just as the Lord does and to operate in loving him, would he be the present day leopard? or the present day adulterer? I do not know but I do know one thing, I want to follow the heart of Christ in this city and hence my desire to read Job: which is all about a man who loved the Lord with all his heart, finds everything he owned and children to be taken away, then his health, and later his whole life was in the dust...so I thought what is the most important aspect of my life...the Lord and relationships with others in that context. SO I have a homeless man living in my three seasons porch- but I would tell another person that I have a new friend named Matt, who is a friendly and happy man that cherious' the small things in life. The Lord is moving in this city and I pray I can follow even if it sounds like something very different. Jesus was on this earth for a short time and in His last three years He did many things out of the ordinary. Be Radical, Be the Change, Be Christ... soon this earth will be renewed and we will walk with Christ looking and aweing in His beautiful creation! But till then may we learn and begin to have and be part of glimpses of that to come!

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